[Orchids & Onions] 'A' for Pick n Pay, 'F' for government

Pick n Pay jumped in with a print ad this week, which was some simple advice for potential matric candidates, ranging from what to eat and getting good rest and sleep, taking vitamins, planning study time carefully, and practising deep breathing to going through old exam papers.

© ximagination – 123RF.com

No plug for the supermarket or any of its products, save the logo.

And there was an eye-catching pseudo-equation at the top, emphasising that following these tips equals an A+.

At the bottom of the advert, there was a simple "Good luck from Pick n Pay".

As a public service announcement it worked well - and it is good to see the supermarket resist the temptation to crassly promote itself.

Nevertheless, it still comes across as the reliable friend, dispensing good advice. And that sort of image will not harm it at all in the eyes of its customers.

So an Orchid to Pick n Pay.

Another eye-catching print ad that ran this week was for Etihad Airways' "96-hour Early Bird" sale, which promised cheap flights to places all over the world, including the ones which South Africans love - London, Mumbai, Bangkok, Melbourne and Abu Dhabi.

I defy anyone not to look at this ad - with the prices clearly and prominently displayed - and not start wondering whether they should just fly now... It's a great example of how print is still one of the best (if not the best) media when it comes to conveying a retail, call-to-action, message.

Still, the layout made the advert really sing and is a classic example of good design and simple copywriting working together seamlessly to convey a marketing message. An Orchid to Etihad.

Number One keeps telling us that South Africa (and the ANC government) does have good stories to tell.

That may well be true, but an almost total lack of marketing nous on the part of the government departments negates most of the messages they are trying to convey.

Most government communication messages - from ministries and departments at least - have a common denominator.

There is a picture of the minister. That picture is there for the glorification of, or the stroking the ego of, the minister.

The picture contributes absolutely nothing to the message of the ad.

A particularly odious series of these, running at the moment across a number of newspapers, is of Minister Dipuo Peters, now the Minister of Transport.

Transport is arguably the most dysfunctional ministry in a pantheon of inept and useless government ministries.

You think I am being harsh? Well, let's consider that our road death toll is one of the highest in the world, in per capita terms.

Let's consider that our roads are crumbling in many places. And consider, finally, that Peters and her hangers-on in Sanral are trying to force down the throats of the public across the country the unethical, illogical and inefficient system of road tax, which they call e-tolls.

If that was me, minister, I would not want my photograph associated with any of that.

Aside from that, what has the minister ever done - good or bad - for the roads and transport system in our country?

If you are going to spend valuable taxpayers' money on talking about issues in transport, why not show pictures of illegal traffic practices or even road accident victims?

Why not showcase where you have built a road in a previously disadvantaged area (a hint: not
Nkandla).

Running the portraits of ministers is an uncomfortable throwback to a discredited Stalinist past, which many in the ANC seem unable to let go of. That cult of personality has no place in a modern 21st-century country.

I appreciate, though, that the ANC may think that by showing some "good stories" in close association with images of the relevant minister, the readers might associate that good with the ANC.

To that, I have one comment: Did you not pay attention during the student protests? Your propaganda is not working.

You get an Onion for bad marketing and communication.

If I could award one for wasting the taxpayers' money, you would get that, too.

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