Brands: 'Oh please, do me a favour!'

In English: Why the hell invest in something that is going to give me 10% ROI, when I can put it in the bank at 11%? And don't give me that story of accumulated brand equity, because I can beat that to a pulp with compound interest.

If you've wondered about the meaning of life, you can stop right now. The agency exists for one reason only: to increase shareholder wealth for the client. That's it. If you need more meaning, give me all your worldly possessions and go and live off the fat of the land.

Clients (OK, rational ones) will only invest in the brand (read: you), if it does at least one of the following four things, and only if it outstrips the cost of capital.

The extensive list of other things that matter can be found in exhibit 3.

A strong brand is not a goal in its own right, but just a means to create shareholder value. It is just an asset (the most fun one though) amongst an arsenal of other assets, which could be tangible or intangible.

We are often referred to as the custodians of brands. I like that. It means that we have to take care of the brand's contribution to shareholder wealth. I like looking after things. Makes me feel important.

"So, wise guy", I hear you exclaim, "what is important to the firm, and why have I heard clients say those exact words that want to make you puke?"

At the end of the day (and sometimes in the morning) an accurate value of a brand is what someone would pay for it. What's your wife worth? Put her on eBay and know for sure. She better be able to do some things my girlfriends can't if you want an above-average price.

For my pharmaceutical clients; 'the most valuable asset' is their patents. For industrial clients, it's the infrastructure. For my retail clients it's location. Brand value starts getting high for automotive (30%) and when we get to luxury goods, it's a whopping 70%. Where did I get these numbers? Don't ask me, ask: Doyle P. Shareholder value-based brand strategies. Brand Management Vol 9, No.1, p20-30, Sep 2001.

He even drew a graph, which is nothing new.