Your top hotel checklist

It is a compelling read for anyone interested in the stories behind some of the most desired hotels on the planet and in the most part is a pleasure to read. There are few areas that feel as if they've been bumped-up with copy to fill the required number of pages but generally speaking his memories and writer Ivan Fallon's presentation of them are interesting, astute, and sometimes entertaining too.

The back-page check list, republished here with my annotations, is required reading for anyone interested in offering a luxury hotel stay.

I had it top of mind at our recent stay at The Mount Nelson Hotel, Cape Town's grandest of ladies, and one of Orient-Express Hotels' key acquisitions.

I fault his list on one point only - his acceptance of instant coffee in the room. I cannot think of any circumstances in the world where instant coffee - irrespective of the brand - comes anywhere close to brewed coffee and is worth drinking. Very happily, suite 232 in the Mount Nelson Hotel's main building comes with a Nespresso machine and a selection of quality teas. It also exceeds every point he mentions:

The bed should be wide, comfortable and the bedside lights should be bright - we shouldn't have to learn Braille in order to read in bed, right?

Noise: Hotel rooms must be silent. Room 232 has double glazing and with the widows closed it is perfectly quiet. It always amazes me how quiet the Mount Nelson Hotels is generally - even when lying at the pool which is fairly near busy Orange Street.

Reception: A guest in a five-star hotel should always be escorted to the room by a member of the reception staff, or if the porters are trained to explain the room features, by one of them as they accompany you with your luggage: Check. One of my favourite experiences at a top hotel is having the car whisked away and the bags arriving effortlessly in the room a few moments later.

Concierge: Every five-star hotel must have a good concierge. The guest should understand that concierges often run their desks as private businesses, and are sometimes only paid minimum wage: We didn't get the chance to engage the concierge.

Doctors: Five-star hotels must have five-star doctors (and dentists) on call: Thankfully didn't need them.

Lighting: For me the symbol of a cheapie hotel is always the wattage of their light bulbs. Young hotel general managers must be trained somewhere to put 40-watt light bulbs in room lamps instead of 100-watt ones: Amen to that - I wish all hotels would take note of this and full-face lighting in the bathroom (mentioned again later).

Wi-Fi, faxes and telephones: Wi-Fi is now obligatory in all hotel rooms... The reception or concierge desks should be able to send and receive faxes and emails and deliver them promptly to the guest: Wi-Fi must be fast, free, and not limited to just one connection at a time. The Mount Nelson's Wi-Fi is fabulous.

The bathroom: A five-star hotel bathroom should have a tub and separate shower stall, twin basins, WC in a separate room with a door, and full face lighting: Suite 232's bathroom is classic art deco in smart black and white. It has ceiling lighting and mirror-mounted lights which prevents one looking like an exhausted hag. The suite also has a separate loo.

A five-star hotel bathroom should have a tub and separate shower stall, twin basins, full face lighting, and loo without a view - that is, separate and behind a solid door.

The bed and bedding: The minimum width of a king size bed should be 1.83m. It is vital that there be good bedside reading lights... The duvet is extremely warm and great for frigid Russia, Scandinavia, and Germany where it has been popular forever. But in warmer climes it can be too warm, and five-star hotels should offer sheet and blanket options: Our bed had a coronet canopy which gives the whole room the feeling of royal luxury.

Room amenities: I like, at a minimum, a bottle of premium beer in the mini-bar, some cold still water like Evian, a bar of Toblerone and a tin or bottle of salted cashews. I prefer a bottle of good still wine to sparkling wine. There is usually a fruit bowl, and the quality of the fruit can say a lot about the hotel's standards. A cheese plate with biscuits is a popular arrival offering, as is a vase of fresh flowers nicely arranged... I always ask for an electric kettle, a selection of teas, and instant coffees, cold milk (for the tea), and cups and saucers and spoons for stirring... I hate with a passion soaps that are tightly wrapped in plastic because it is impossible to unwrap them with moist hands, so I always prefer that the soap be in paper wrapper: He and I are one when it comes to plastic-wrapped soap. Drives me bonkers too. The Mount Nelson Hotel uses The PlanTation Range in the rooms. This English range is paraben-free and a pleasure to use.

Cape Town's grand old lady - and benchmark for excellence in accommodation, the Mount Nelson. (Image: Geoffrey Hancock, via Wikimedia Commons)

Swimming pools, tennis courts and spas: Every five-star hotel should have a swimming pool but sometimes (rarely) it needs to be indoors... A pool must have a deep end and ideally this should be 2m...I was always a keen tennis player and felt that our resorts should have courts when feasible...An entire spa culture seems to have grown up over the last 20 years or so, and every hotel today has to have a spa: The Mount Nelson Hotel has two heated pools and the main one, The Oasis Pool is among the biggest in the city. Inside the change rooms in the Librisa Spa there are steam and sauna rooms and an outside shower and plunge pool which is open to all guests irrespective if you are having spa treatments.

Room service: I always judge the quality of room service by the croissants, the orange juice and the coffee... The style of artwork, china, linens, cutlery and glassware tells a lot about hotel owners and whether they are discriminating or not: While we didn't order room service we did request an HDMI cable so we could use our own media player on the hotel's TV system and the cable was delivered in an instant.

I would add just two more things so Sherwood's list:

Plugs and adaptors: Plugs must be plentiful and easily accessible - I like them to be at desk height. We may live in a wireless world but I seem to travel with more devices that need charging than ever before.

Robes and slippers: A top hotel room must have robes and slippers for my use. The best of them have two robes for each guest - a thick-pile Terry cloth one and a lighter summery peignoir.