Blog's your auntie... April Fool 2013

Thanks to the advances in medical science, we're likely to live at least another two decades. That leaves approximately 4,000 days of killing time while we watch DSTV to see if Oscar Pretorius is going to be allowed to run away from this country. Or whether Kim Kardashian is going to turn the baby she and Kanye West are expecting into the next reality TV star so that we can watch her change disposal diapers while we conclude that life without work is up the creek.

Here are the facts. Despite working for leading agencies like Young & Rubicam, Ogilvy Mather, BBDO and Grey and winning numerous awards as a copywriter and despite being the author of four published books as well as numerous unpublished works - but that's another story - I am unable to get a job. Why? Because everyone thinks that I'm too old to be associated with the new Bible of Advertising ... The Gospel according to Mark Elliott Zuckerberg.

As if writing your Likes on Facebook (George Clooney) and your Dislikes (aging Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Speedo) required brain power or if Tweeting 140 characters was beyond the capabilities of old ducks who were hot chicks in their day.

No, in these days of 25-year-old CEO's and SEO's, where experience counts for zilch ... specially as, faithful to your proof-reading skills, you don't send out SMSs with abbreviations and text that have taught the new generation of copywriters that 121 with your computer produces a more effective campaign than a copywriter actually sitting down with an art director and both of you putting in your 02.

As a matter of fact I don't intend to kick the bucket AFDN (Any F**king Day Now) and thanks to my cataract ops in both eyes and the lens that were inserted to correct my lack of clarity on any given brief on any day this ACORN (A Completely Obsessive Really Nutty person) thinks that employing mature creatives should not be seen as AYSOS (Are You Stupid Or Something) but rather as AFGO (Another F**king Growth Opportunity) ... if you'll pardon my language.