Avoiding guilt and other self-inflicted conditions as a parent

1. Commit to work that is meaningful and that can impact others;
2. No one is perfect; you’re not going to be the first – i.e. you’re good enough!
3. Be authentic. Discover your identity and live in integrity with it.
4. Know the journey’s going to be hard and you’ll have to rise back up again after so-called failures (but don’t let that stop you from going for your dreams);
5. Know how to tackle #3 and #4 in order to accept #2 and achieve #1

As the founder of South Africa’s #1 parenting portal, BabyYumYum, Amanda Rogaly knows a thing or two about challenges and working hard to transform dreams into reality.

Amanda Rogaly

“I wanted to create a space that would make a difference to moms out there, a site committed to expert information, real issues and open topics,” says Amanda about the trusted parenting site she founded after she gave up her successful career in events in favour of being a stay-at-home-mom. This marked a big change after having headed her company Kadoro Events and Communications for several years.

“I loved being a new mom, but deep down I knew I wasn’t being true to myself. I felt compelled to be the perfect mom, wife and daughter, but I also felt that I was losing a part of myself trying to please everyone,” Amanda says of her guilt between wanting to be the model mom and her need to express herself beyond the roles of mom, wife and daughter.”

Replacing guilt with proactivity<!>

This guilt provided the impetus for her blog which soon expanded into an interactive community platform to support other parents. Over time, this developed into the trusted parenting and lifestyle site called BabyYumYum, where Amanda could exercise her passion as an inspirational speaker and writer to encourage women like herself to live their best lives.

“As mothers, there is no questioning our love for or commitment to our kids. The flip side of this is that we are overextended because we’re pre-programmed to put everyone’s needs before our own. At some point we took the ‘yes’ word to be symbolic of our commitment to mothering (perfectly). We learnt to define ourselves in relation to our kids, instead of remembering who we are as individuals and saving a little nurturing for ourselves,” says the motivational speaker.

“Airplane safety instructions say to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else with theirs. That’s because you need to be able breathe first in order to be able to help others. We have to find out what makes us breathe,” advises the BabyYumYum entrepreneur.

“We need to get comfortable with the ‘no’ word as part of self-nurturing and become familiar with the ‘yes’ word when it comes to activities that get us in touch with our authentic selves again,” says Amanda.

“Start by discovering the oxygen in your world that makes you come alive and brings joy and meaning to your life. This will enable you to make a difference to others, while still having sufficient oxygen of your own to remain buoyant,” concludes the BabyYumYum founder.

You can learn more about mom guilt by visiting the BabyYumYum website.