New Year's resolutions for 2008

Advertising agencies

• I will not cry when a client rejects my sure-fire, can't lose, Grand Prix Loerie award-winning ad campaign.
  
• I will not cry when my client-approved, sure-fire, Grand Prix Loerie award-winning ad campaign doesn't even get a nomination for the Loeries or even the Delmas Boeresport & Advertising Festival.
  
• I will try and understand that not all of South Africa's 48 million consumers says "bru" or "eish" in every sentence.
  
• I will try and remember David Ogilvy's advice: "The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife."
  
• When I buy ad space I will try to remember that not all 48 million consumers in SA are exactly like me and some of them are actually over 25 years of age, don't always listen to 5FM, watch American TV sitcoms and only shop at designer stores.
  
• I will try very, very hard to understand just what the hell Farquhar is actually on about.

Mass media (TV and radio)

• I will stop trying to kid everyone that those kneejerk SMS "polls" during the TV news actually mean something.
  
• I will stop using my position as CEO of the national broadcaster to control the news.
  
• I will try hard to remember that as CEO of the national broadcaster that I am a lawyer not a journalist or even a broadcaster for that matter.
  
• I will seriously consider giving up being CEO of the national broadcaster.
  
• I firmly resolve that as a talk show host I will try and remember that it is the quality of calls from listeners that counts, not the quantity.
  
• When I write news bulletins I solemnly resolve to try and cut down on saying "centred around", "addressing the issue" and "going forward".
  
• I will try to see the humane side of John Farquhar

Mass media (newspapers and magazines)

• I will get the Scorpions to pay a courtesy call on my circulation department every time it's about to send sales figures to the ABC.
  
• I will not fall over myself to fire columnists just because a few advertisers and bunny huggers don't like what they write.
  
• I will allow other media to criticise me without behaving like a childish brat.
  
• I will keep trying to persuade the big boss that editorial isn't just the space between the ads.
  
• I will stop inviting so-called "experts" to write "opinion" pieces for free in exchange for shameless self-promotion.
  
• When I cock things up big time, I will not just apologise small time with a two-line 4pt admission of guilt at the bottom of page 256.
  
• I will try an see the magnanimous side of John Farquhar.

John Farquar

• I will try and like an ad.