A day in Gothenburg

All aboard, for the cruise of a lifetime. But whoever thought cruising might be so enlightening?

I noticed the man, short and stocky wearing one of those wife-beater vests people in trailer-parks favour a few minutes earlier when he shouted loudly in a broad New Yorker accent, "who's smoking in the line?" The line in question was to be the source of all the hubbub that would later follow. What resembled an angry meeting of the United Nations Security Council turned the typically ordered streets of Gothenburg, Sweden into the site of a near diplomatic incident.

All together now...

The Nordic blond who ushered us onto the bus from the harbour into the city said he would collect us later at every hour to return to the ship but the last bus would leave for the ship at 1500. We were in line on time for the bus and, it seems, so were the 2,200 other passengers, all selecting to the stay in the city until the last possible moment.

We felt confident when he saw the Nordic blond waiting patiently at the bus stop for the bus to arrive but as the line, already very long and snaking past the Gothenburg City Theatre (where Igmar Bergman famously worked) wet did wonder how this vast number would fit in the last bus to arrive.

The Angry American

One way to get some exercise and see the city at the same time.

When the bus arrived a group of people, South American I think based on their accents, left the middle of the queue to get onto the bus. This so angered the New Yorker who previously complained about someone smoking in the line that he left the line to haul this group - mostly women in their late 50s, off the bus. The line erupted in cheers and shouts complicated as the husband of one of the offending women felt sufficiently embarrassed to continue waiting in queue that she disembarked the bus to pull him out of the queue. The Nordic Blond, totally unable to manage the situation and keep order, radioed for extra busses.

At dinner on board the ship the New Yorker had become our hero. Attired in a dinner jacket he and his husband seemed more like a couple at the Academy Awards than teamsters who would lead a revolution.

Gothenburg is a pretty city.

You can't judge people by the way they look.

Time to view the loo

Earlier in the day, after a wonderful shopping expedition at Volt where I had the best service in a clothing store anywhere to date, and many, albeit overpriced cappuccinos from Espresso, which offers free Wi-Fi, I needed to urgently use the loo. I had taken the view not to use local currency in Europe and to buy things on my credit card only. This meant that I had no coinage to open the toilet door. By the time I came rushing past a Turkish kebab fast-food shop on the upper level of the Nordstan Shopping Centre with that special urgently reserved for people about to wet their pants to ask for directions to the toilet the bearded 20-something man said I'd need exact krone to open the door. My heart sank at the desperation of my situation. The need to wee was so urgent I would not make it back to ask JP or a fellow-traveller for money. Unprompted the man offered me a coin from his tip jar. As the warm relief flooded over me (and from me!) I wondered if that kind of generosity might happen in South Africa.

If you're a Volvo fan

Waiting for the bus.

The Volvo Museum, right next to where The Brilliance of the Seas moored, is closed on Mondays which is when we visited and I was surprised at how distressed many fellow passengers seemed to be - perhaps Volvo drivers feel more attached to their marques than the rest of us. The museum does contain the first jet engine used by the Swedish air force. Volvo lovers needn't fret as all you can see for miles and miles in and around the jetty are Volvo flags, cars, buildings, and factories.

Aaaahhhh...

The day's stresses in the queue seemed long forgotten by the time the ship departed. Late into the night, just as the sun began to set, I thought what an extra ordinary day I had. I'd had my best clothing shopping experience, I felt so warmly towards the human race after a stranger lent me money for the loo, and, most notably, I felt encouraged to stand my ground in future the way the New Yorker had. Whoever thought cruising might be so enlightening?

Brian Berkman cruised The Baltic as guest of Cruises International and Royal Caribbean. Email az.oc.sesiurc@ahsorin, see www.cruises.co.za or phone +27 (0) 11 327 0327 for information about a similar cruise.