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Be creative with liquor warning labels

The Department of Health has very little chance of reducing alcohol abuse as a result of the publication yesterday of regulations for what appears to be very naive warning notices on bottles and cans of all alcoholic beverages.

For example, the printing of "Alcohol Abuse is Dangerous to Your Health" on a beer can or wine bottle will mean absolutely nothing to even the most uneducated consumer because in this day and age any South African who does not know that alcohol abuse is unhealthy will be so stupid as to not know what the word "abuse" means anyway.

None of the other warnings, such as "Alcohol Increases your risk to personal injuries" and "Drinking during Pregnancy can be harmful to your unborn baby" are so glaringly obvious that it is doubtful whether consumers will actually notice anything other than the fact that a rather appealing booze label has been spoilt with some big fat message or other.

What the Department of Health has failed to take into consideration is the fact that consumers are far more likely to stop doing something if they feel that there is a chance they will lose face among their peers or just end up looking foolish.

Far better would have been these alcohol health warnings that have been floating around on the internet for years now.

WARNING:
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY MAKE YOU THINK
YOU ARE WHISPERING WHEN YOU ARE NOT.

WARNING:
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY CAUSE YOU TO
TELL UGLY STRANGERS OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT
YOU LOVE THEM.

WARNING:
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY CAUSE YOU TO
THINK YOU CAN SING.

WARNING
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY MAKE YOU THINK
YOU CAN LOGICALLY CONVERSE WITH MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
WITHOUT SPITTING.

WARNING
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY CREATE THE
ILLUSION THAT YOU ARE TOUGHER, SMARTER,
FASTER AND BETTER LOOKING THAN MOST PEOPLE.

WARNING:
THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY LEAD YOU TO
THINK PEOPLE ARE LAUGHING WITH YOU.

About Chris Moerdyk

Apart from being a corporate marketing analyst, advisor and media commentator, Chris Moerdyk is a former chairman of Bizcommunity. He was head of strategic planning and public affairs for BMW South Africa and spent 16 years in the creative and client service departments of ad agencies, ending up as resident director of Lindsay Smithers-FCB in KwaZulu-Natal. Email Chris on moc.liamg@ckydreom and follow him on Twitter at @chrismoerdyk.
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