Aliens
Chris, that's a fine piece of conspiracy theorist writing. Loved it! It ranks right up there with the greats. You know the ones, ‘Dodi Fayed was offed by the British Secret Service', ‘Aliens in space ships are abducting us earthlings to conduct obscene experiments' and so on. Only one difficulty: as with all conspiracy theories there is a little problem with the evidence – there is none!
Let me list some of your claims:
Let's deconstruct the points above by substituting facts for entertaining ranting.
The ABC is not a magazine or print media body. It is a voluntary association of media owners, advertisers and advertising agencies/media buying houses. It's not them and us; the ABC is all of us together. We're all there to ensure the provision of: “accurate and comparable circulation and attendance figures, fully and fairly disclosed.”
Amongst other things, members bind themselves to follow a Code of Conduct. I list some of the provisions:
Let me say this slowly and carefully: the ABC is a principled organisation, with a membership of principled people and companies. In what way has the ABC's principles and integrity been compromised? To quote Media24's leave behind from their Industry presentation – the people who have caused the problem were: “a few identified individuals (Media24 staff) …not sanctioned by top management of Media24. Regrettably it was not an administrative or interpretative error and in the process a number of Media24 rules and regulations have been contravened which are now been addressed through a disciplinary process.”
The people concerned were members of Media24, not of the ABC. Their actions were uncovered via a combination of ongoing and continuous check audits by the ABC, and subsequent further action by Media24 management. These people's integrity has certainly taken a tumble. Not the ABC whose monitoring uncovered them.
Do you actually understand how the ABC works? It's not a body that actively polices its members. It isn't necessary. The media members have committed to the principles and code of conduct of the ABC. Each member's external auditor is made aware of the code and principle. They all undertake to abide by them. It's a professional “honour” system. When the already externally audited certificates come in, the ABC scans them for discrepancies. This process resulted in the first alarm on the Media24 women's titles. In addition, over a three-year period, on a randomised basis, the ABC independently check audits every title of every member. So three sets of auditors are actively ensuring accuracy and compliance – the member's internal auditors, the member's external auditors, and independent of these two, the ABC auditors. Seen against this background, the ABC are the heroes – they spotted the problem. How can you possibly justify that they're the bad guys? (I suppose if you're a conspiracy theorist, these distinctions don't really matter.)
What you are essentially saying is that when people do crooked things, don't blame the crooks! Instead say that the justice system, in this case the ABC, lacks integrity. That's like saying when you're shown up for writing conspiracy theorist articles based on no facts, that it's the fault of the Internet.
You also seem to have difficulty in separating fantasy from reality. Don't stress about it; if you're a conspiracy theorist it's a very necessary skill. And you clearly got a big charge out of the movie Minority Report. (For people who didn't see the flick, Minority Report was a highly successful movie, starring Tom Cruise. It's set in a society 50 years in the future. Murders no longer happen, courtesy of the precrime unit, a bunch of elite cops who arrest murderers BEFORE they attack their victims. The cops get their tip-offs from the precogs, a group of women who live in a trance state, and get cognitive information about people's future intentions.) Hey Chris!!!!!!!!!! It only happens in fiction 50 years from now! The ABC doesn't have precogs, (neither by the looks of it do Media24), so it's hard for the ABC to block these sorts of figures in advance, as you suggest. But nice concept anyhow.
No one (yet) can predict the future Chris. Equally, no one can (yet) read another person's mind. I don't know what else you do for a living, but if you're thinking of becoming a clairvoyant, my advice is not to quit your current job. Why do I say this?
Well, you think that media owners who have watched the events of the past week are thinking: “There but for the grace of God go I…”
WRONG!!! You're a bad mind reader! You're not even close. And that's not just from a Caxton point of view, but a number of other media owners I've spoken to. I'll tell you what we're thinking. We're enraged. We're thinking how we've played by the rules. How we've acted in utmost good faith as we undertook to do, to each other and to our customers and colleagues at agencies and clients. How we too have been check audited, and have been found to be “clean”.
So Chris, God's grace doesn't come into our calculations. Like most people in most walks of life we try our best to be honest, and the ABC's checks show we've succeeded. We do our level best on a playing field that we've committed to making level, via bodies like the ABC, the ASA and others.
I grant you that the world of conspiracy theorists is a much more exciting one than the more mundane one we operate in. To you the world is dim and murky, full of corruption and deceit. Where everyone cheats, and the only victims are the ones who get caught. Where sightings of Elvis are commonplace, and you're suspect if aliens HAVEN'T abducted you.
In the boring world in which we and the ABC operate, it's different. It's largely sunny, and filled with people committed to the principles of integrity and fair play that have kept this industry running for many years, and will continue to guide it in the future. As a matter of interest, evolutionary psychologists say that it's these mutually co-operative traits that have helped humanity to do so well as a species.
I think you write brilliantly. It's just that the prosaic, fact based world of audited circulations isn't the ideal place to practice your undeniable talent. The tabloids everywhere are looking for people like you, and what they can offer. Play your cards right, and I'll even introduce you to some of the editors.
For more:
