Fear not! JK Goslett, general manager of ANEW Resort Hazyview Kruger Park, has witnessed many team-building sessions and shares his top five tips for surviving this annual exercise in scheduled spontaneity.
You might think you’re stuck with your usual office crew, but this is your chance to escape! If Neville has been hounding you about how to save something as a PDF, choose to be on the 'other' team for activities like archery. Nothing bonds people faster than a little friendly rivalry. Just keep an eye on Busi… her aim seems to be a little too good. Wait! Is she pointing that arrow at your back!?
If you’d prefer a less competitive option, take a dip in the swimming pool. Just be warned that Priya from HR may still try to turn it into an Olympic-style race… so let her.
There are many ways to dodge awkward conversations, but quad-biking offers the quickest getaway from Sarita, who needs you to scroll through all 400 photos of her Mauritius holiday from 2018…
Transform a paintball game into a group therapy session and encourage everyone to take their workplace grievances onto the field. Before the game, make name tags that read 'Does Not Use Punctuation', 'WhatsApps After Hours' or 'Does Not Brief Well… or At All'. Stick them onto your rivals, then aim for the one that bothers you most. Consider this as constructive feedback, delivered at speed. Paintball therapy builds camaraderie, gives everyone a chance to let off steam and, at the very least, makes office politics a little more colourful.
If you start feeling claustrophobic in the group hugs or need a breather from Gerhard, who won’t stop recounting how hard he has worked this year, have a planned escape route. Head to the spa for a much-needed back massage, or wander to the outdoor boma and gaze into the fire. South African etiquette unofficially stipulates that spending hours looking into a fire is a socially acceptable way to be 'in' the conversation, but not 'part' of the conversation.
If that doesn’t work, just take a 'nature walk' and make it look like you enjoy birdwatching. Bonus points if you can look delighted to spot the Bostrychia hagedash in its natural habitat (aka the noisy Hadeda).
In the end, attitude is everything. The secret to making it through the end-of-year office retreat without losing your sanity is to embrace the chaos and remember that, regardless of how challenging your colleagues might be at times, you’re all in this together. Just imagine… Simphiwe from Marketing might feel the same way about you!
Now go forth, and may the odds be ever in your favour!
