[Orchids & Onions] Thumbs up to Eugene's Parisian escapade

We see him in a Parisian-like setting (although you know it's been done on a set in South Africa), browsing for souvenirs.

Then he realises he has been the victim of a pickpocket. He panics. Then The Voice reminds him that there is no need to panic because his money was on a Nedbank American Express card, to which he has the access and which can be replaced quickly and easily, even abroad.

© Andrey Omelyanchuk – 123RF.com

When I first saw the ad I did chuckle as I remarked that, given the state of the rand, it was more likely that cash-strapped South African tourists would be the ones doing the mugging.

My daughter said she thought the ad worked because getting hit by pickpockets abroad is a reality for many not-so-street- savvy South Africans.

So, it works as a bit of amusement (especially because there is a bit at the end where Eugene mangles the French language in an obvious way) but also because it gets across Nedbank's point about the security of its forex solutions.

Orchid for Nedbank and American Express. And one for you, too, Eugene.

There are brands that have been around for years and are part of the fabric of South African life. Toyota, Old Mutual, SA Breweries come to mind, but there are many others.

In the field of tyres and wheels, top of mind has to be Tiger Wheel & Tyre, which is probably the top retailer in this sector, with branches all over the country.

You're as South African as a braai, boet. So, why, oh why, are you using a fake American accent in your latest radio ads?

Don't you think South African accents (those of your own customers, by the way?) are sexy enough, or "intelligent" enough? Can you imagine Toyota doing a Hilux ad with a cowboy from Texas?

It's a pity, because Tiger Wheel & Tyre is a great brand. You get an Onion for lazy, let's-do-what-everyone-else-does marketing.

Here's my suggestion for you (use, don't use): Get one of your real branch managers to tell real stories about your tyres and wheels. Authentic will always go a lot further than fake.

Dear oh dear. Sanral's Vusi Mona is on the war path - this time about the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which has slated yet another misleading e-toll ad. According to Mona, ASA never worries about any other Sanral advertising, which is proof that it is part of the "conspiracy" against the national roads agency.

Quite apart from the fact that the first refuge of a politician or scoundrel (is there a difference?) or less-than-competent apparatchik is to cry "conspiracy!", Mona misses the point that the ASA does not bring complaints itself; it adjudicates complaints brought to it by members of the public.

And, clearly, people are so angry about e-tolls that all of Sanral's e-toll marketing is being closely scrutinised.

The reality is that most of Sanral's marketing on e-tolls has been of the "fire pool" variety. Sanral and its about to-depart boss, Nazir Alli, have communicated with the public (taxpayers who originally paid for the wonder e-toll roads, it must be said) in an arrogant and frequently misleading fashion.

Lest Mona again get on his high horse about that, let me remind him that Sanral has still not responded to my challenge to them on one of their original, highly misleading marketing campaigns.

That piece of marketing insisted that using tolled roads actually saves you money, according to the CSIR and the University of Stellenbosch, but what they failed to include in this piece of alleged science was the cost of tolls themselves. Once these are added (in the example they used), it is still cheaper to use non-tolled roads, even with increased wear and tear.

That sort of fire pool logic has characterised most of Sanral's communication on e-tolls from the beginning. And to whinge about the ASA being part of a conspiracy is just stupid. And bad marketing. I don't suppose either Mona or Alli care, but there's another Onion to add to their rather large collection.

I would guess Mona was also behind the issuing of the latest rant about the ASA, overruling what I am sure would have been the company's PR advice (from respected communications group Meropa) to let sleeping dogs lie.

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