All the boys love Mandy who?

“All the boys love Mandy Lane” is a teenage slasher movie based on…I can't for the life of me think what, so let me just give you a brief synopsis. There's a bunch of American teens, being American teens, having a party, getting drunk, chilling by a pool and among the bunch is a hot girl, laying by the pool. But this is no ordinary girl mind you. It's the girl. The girl who every guy within a 100km radius is trying to get with. She, obviously being, the girl, is hearing none of it and is constantly rejecting the slobbering males knocking on her door. Hence they try harder…

For all you male specimens who are finding it hard to impress a girl let me just emphasise at this point in time that jumping off the roof of a building into a pool certainly is not the way to go, especially if you're gonna miss. No one likes a guy with a broken neck.

So that's exactly what this loser guy does; he jumps to his death and yet there Mandy lays, not the least bit horrfied because of course, this stuff happens around her all the time. To cut a very long story short, the American teens go on holiday to some secluded ranch in the middle of no one cares where. A killer (ominous dum dum dum) comes along and slaughters everyone cos' hey, that's what killers do best. The tough guy ranger on the ranch tries to save America's unfortunate youth and fails.

You will never believe what happens in the end. In fact, I think you should see this movie to understand why I'm so appalled. My theory is that there was a serious case of mad cow going around, and you'll probably end up agreeing with me. You have been deterred…

Release date:
Fri 11 Jul 2008
Genre:
Horror, Thriller
Rating:
Smut

Cast:
Amber Heard
Anson Mount
Michael Welch
Aaron Himelstein