An advertiser's nightmare

From the outset, I would like to declare that I have a great deal of respect for Johnston and I am also one of her fans. She was in her time a great media mind and now an absolutely fabulously great marketer. Her credentials at Brand South Africa are proof of this.

Still a news junkie

As for me, I am still a news junkie. My day starts with News24, iafrica, Business Day and Sky News online. It helps keep me in perspective on what's happening in the world.

I don't own an iPad, Kindle or iPhone. I do own a Blackberry, which helps me keep track of all my emails. I don't use it for surfing the 'net as the screen is too small so I use my laptop for that.

I am proud of my simple technology use; it helps me stay in check. I am happy to pick up my novel and read it as it is and occasionally put in a donkey ear in case I can't find a bookmark.

Does that make me technophobic? I don't think so. In fact, I consider myself very techno-savvy. I just don't own many gadgets and I am not an early adopter. I believe that both the online and offline media have a place and marketers can use them both to reach me.

Emotional value

I am also an art collector. Once every quarter I go to an auction at my son's Montessori school and buy a few pieces. They may not have the same monetary value as a Picasso but the emotional value by far exceeds any Picasso.

I shop at Edgars and Mr Price. I enjoy the Spar and also go to the Pick n Pay. I get my medicines from Dischem and refuse to go to Clicks because I find it to be very unfriendly.

I don't own a PVR. I seem to like my TV live and NOT recorded. What's the point of watching Steven Gerrard scoring against Man Utd on a recording? Sure, the PVR has a place. There are some awesome programmes that one would want to keep for watching over and over again.

But the best part of watching TV is waiting for the ads. Their entertainment value is in some instances better then the programming. How else would I have been suckered into believing that one bottle of Sunlight Liquid will wash 1000 dishes (I do the dishes sometimes) or the Mr Muscle ad telling me of its multipurpose use or Dygon helping me clear the bugs? I am a convert to these products.

A real collector's item

I moved my bank account to FNB as it said, "How can we help you?" and it gave me that limited edition VISA Electron card with the 2010 FIFA World Cup trophy embedded on it - a real collector's item and worth moving my bank account.

I go to the movies and I am always the first in the popcorn queue because I don't want to miss the start of the ads.

The world cup gave many advertisers the platform to showcase their products and talent. Who in their right mind would fast forward the MTN Ayoba ad or the Waving the Flag ad of Coke? They gave me goose bumps throughout the world cup. And I still want to watch them. They were absolutely mind-blowingly patriotic.

My current favourite is the Buddy the Boxer ad series from Toyota. They just talk to me. It is like the advertiser has taken the trouble to know me. I like TV and TV advertising. Did I mention it helped pay my salary for the last 20 odd years and also helped buy those art pieces at the auction?

How to reach me

So how would an advertiser reach me?

Well, he or she will have to fork out R100 000 for a 7de Laan spot on SABC2, an English Premier league package on SABC3 for about R500 000 and R2000 for Jhansi Ki Rani on Zee TV. I love soaps; some of them are great. Let's not forget the news channels eNews, NDTV, CNN, Sky and BBC. My favourite media habit is 702 in the morning and afternoon and also the Redi Dereko and Chris Gibbons shows.

I am an advertiser's nightmare. It would cost them gazillions to reach me whereas with Johnston, well, it seems R40 000 per month (before discount) on The Daily Maverick will do the trick. A bargain, I'd say, for such a quality audience.

Going to cost you

And I am unashamedly proud to say it:

Mr Advertiser, I am a media junkie and it's going to cost you money to reach me.