#Orchids&Onions: Hollard hits the right tune; Ekurhuleni strikes a sour note

For the bank – and later for legions of star-crossed lovers – the words perfectly summed up the start of that terrifying journey called marriage. Many marketers have used that sentiment to push their products – but especially in the financial sector, where security and long-term relationships, like marriage, are the cornerstone of the business.

Hollard gets you, babe

Here in South Africa, Hollard Insurance has jumped in, with its latest ad, to use that same motif for assurance to customers that it will be there for you, that it has “got you”.

And to do that, they have employed another popular love song – from a little earlier than The Carpenters hit – to convey that message.

While most of Hollard’s target market probably hasn't heard Sonny and Cher's 1965 smash I Got You Babe, they'll still feel the emotions of those promises when a relationship is new, shiny, and a thing of wonder.

“They say we're young and we don't know,
we won't find out until we grow.
Well, I don't know if all that's true,
'cause you got me, and baby, I got you.”

But it’s not only to newlyweds or the about-to-be-hitched that Sonny and Cher – and Hollard – are speaking. They’re speaking to those wondering about their futures: after graduation, in employment, after retirement.

All along, there are the questions we ask, ranging from “How do you know when AI has gone rogue?” to “Will this house be big enough for four?” to “How do they move forward if they’re always circling back?” – this last spoken in another interminable office meeting.

Throughout life’s ups and downs, the song assures Hollard’s customers: We got you.

It’s effective – and it’s the message everyone wants to hear from an insurer. You want them around to help you pick up the pieces when life happens.

Orchid, then, for Hollard.

However, I discovered that the idea of using I Got You Babe for an insurance product didn’t originate with Hollard or its agency. Axa Insurance in Ireland did it about two years ago in a product aimed at self-employed people.

Nothing new under the sun, they say, don’t they?

Ekurhuleni’s empty “got you”

Someone who would like you to believe that he has your best interests at heart is Alderman Nkosindiphile Xhakaza, the executive mayor of Ekurhuleni.

Never mind that, under his watch and that of his administration, the city on the East Rand has become a killing field for young women; this man went on social media, in an expensive suit and smug face, to say the city condemns the killing of women and that women have the right to live in safety.

I have no objection to towns and cities using spaces like social media to convey messages of condolence – as long as they are not so blatantly hypocritical.

And, even if these are sincere and not a cynical way to cast for votes ahead of the election, why is it necessary to have a politician’s mugshot decorating the message?

The vanity of our politicians seems to know no limits – and it affects all parties equally, although as the former majority party, the ANC’s publicity gluttons are the best at it.

Because this form of communication is, whether we like it or not, marketing – and because it’s so appallingly counter-productive – it gets an Onion from me.