Somewhat controversial to start with due to its subject matter Sexpo attracted some unsolicited attention by those more conservative, who demonstrated with signs outside the entrance on Thursday the day the expo opened. Unfortunately we missed this excitement choosing rather to kick of our weekend off in sexy style by attending late afternoon on Friday.
Entering the main hall where the sensory overloaded Sexpo took place we were greeted by a flasher and practically naked lady while a delicious smell of cinnamon, pancakes and donuts filled the air. There was no time to waist as there was a male strip show underway so we hurried to the main stage to catch the last half of the Odyssey Male Revu which consisted of three male dancers/strippers doing their thing - far more cheesy than sexy. We also managed to catch a chocolate licking competition, a spectacular death defying aerial show by Miss Nude Australia; Arianna Starr. And the hilarious Alain D Woolf the Naughty Hypnotist. Woolf thoroughly hypnotised most of his brave volunteers causing one of them named Riaan to get quite hot under the collar in more ways than one.
After a stroll around the expo taking in the sights of the world renowned Pricasso doing his thing, a lap dance class, and a quick peek into the Mavericks tent and two glasses of champagne down Sindy and I felt brave enough to attempt to climb Mt Peni which is the largest penis in Africa. No mean feat but we both climbed and conquered. And even managed to get a bit of a bounce in on Mt Peni's bouncy castle base.
As sexy as Sexpo is some things are just plain ridiculous one of them being the “Mr Butler Friends” (I think they were called) which were a tiny orange plastic man with life size appendages dressed as either a butler or a Mexican equipped with a little poncho and sombrero. The Mr Butler Friends were helpfully accompanied by a very graphic instructional video. And of course it goes without saying that after a hard days work and watching 7de Laan most women are in the mood for a small orange plastic Mexican in their bed.
We bid farewell to Sexpo a couple of hours later. After all there is only so much concentrated somewhat artificial sex one can take in one sitting. Sindy did so by riding the bull. Not a giant penis this year thankfully, even so you are not going to catch me riding a bull anytime soon I'll stick to climbing giant Penis mountains, which is much more civilized.
