BRIAN'S BURP: Exclusive venues for intimate events

The organizers of The South African Gourmet Festival invited a small selection of media (about 10, I think) to drink Mumm Champagne and eat Giggling Gourmet Jenny Morris' yummy bits on board the very swish Princess 67 power yacht. Here's why it worked well: gorgeous venue, trip around the harbour basin which meant people wouldn't dash off, free-flowing Champers (some local sparkling wine is very, very good but nothing beats the cache of a good French bubbly). In a move away from their usual hard-sell, Christine and Louise Cashmore billed the event as a “thank you” to the media and imparted lots of relevant information in conversation. I'm especially looking forward to Reza and Ed Baines' visits.
To hire the Princess call Marina Yacht Rentals 082 658 3633.

The Mount Nelson Hotel's Afternoon Tea is also an excellent environment for a quiet chinwag. At R135 per person (served between 2.30pm and 5.30pm daily), it is about the most cost efficient way to command such an elegant venue and magnificent cakes and pastries. Although it has always been a favourite, it is utterly magnificent in its current form. Look out for the petit fours displayed on giant bricks of chocolate, the meringue and pistachio chocolate climbing wall and, for the first time since I've been there, koeksusters. The scones, especially the raison ones with thick cream and lemon curd, are essential. Book “The Writing Room” section of the lounge as an extravagant flower display separates it from the throng. It is a good space for 10 people.

Cricklewood Manor in Pretoria is especially recommended for a high-end event. Think Versailles-meets-Pretoria in terms of the opulence and ubiquitous gilding, which verges on being over-the-top but is saved by owner Clinton Hales' authority of personal success in the sound business coupled with the flair of an internationally recognized singing career.

Over-night guests will enjoy croissants at breakfast made from pastry that Hales imports from France - but the real appeal (for me anyway) is his fleet of luxury vintage rides that includes a Rolls Royce 1971 Corniche and Bentley R Turbo. I recommend a champagne reception at Cricklewood in the evening before going to dinner at nearby Ritrovo (sit in their wine cellar which, while chilly, is private and fabulous). Ferry the guests in the luxury fleet for an event to remember.

Rolls Royce 1971 Corniche

When budget isn't a consideration at all (like when there's a massive contract on the table), take guests on board The Rovos Rail. Undoubtedly one of my most memorable train journeys, it is the perfect clubby environment in which to do business, largely because of their aversion to it. Computers and mobile phones are forbidden in the public areas, so there is nothing to distract from quiet one-on-ones. Food and drink is of the highest standard and, as everything is included in the just under R15K per person for the two night journey, it is easily budgeted. I recommend Pretoria to Durban for its wonderful game drives but I'm certain any routing will be as good.