Dear FIFA...

Dear Fifa

Your recent actions against advertisers such as Kulula have made me realise that our genius negotiators at the LOC have signed over pretty much every South African icon, brand, landmark, flag etc. to you guys.

I am quite keen to get my friends, who are traditionally rugby watchers, to catch a bit of soccer "gees" (look it up) and want to have a soccer-themed "braai" (again, look it up). Assuming you don't own the rights to the traditional South African "braai" as well, and I actually get the boys round for a drink or two, are we allowed to use our national flag at said event and on the invitations? I don't want to get sued by you guys, so should I refrain from using the words "soccer", "world cup" and "2010" from our invitations to this event?

Anyway, I hope you guys can get back to me soon on this as there are only a few weeks left to the actual event and so far my friends (and their friends) have not yet caught any form of excitement for this event and I really want to do my part.

Ps. thanks for renting our country for your event (even though all evidence is that China's manufacturing plants and your office seem to be the only ones making money out of this) and also thanks for allowing us to be able to drink our own non-American beer while watching the games.

Regards,
Just a Saffa (once again, look it up).