I get it. I do. You're there to teach me life lessons. You exist to circumvent my natural complacency. To provoke pre-emptiveness and pro-activity. To make me cautious.
So, this letter is to thank you.
1. Thank you, first, for all of those documents you froze in their tracks, yielding the loss of the last 30 or so minutes of masterpiece writing. They must have been really crap. I'm so glad I got the chance to re-visit them.
2. Thank you for educating me in the art of not being precious about my writing, by making me re-produce really good stuff multiple times.
3. Thank you for sharing with me the crucial life lesson that pressure makes a diamond, by enabling me to whip up sheer magic ten minutes before the deadline, when you've made me run horribly, hideously late.
4. Thank you for instilling in me the ability to respond to rabid panic with calm zen. And for giving me the strength not to fling my Macbook right across the room/coffee shop, but to hit 'Force Quit' and move on.
5. Thank you for teaching me care. Attention to detail. A very slow, sensible, strategic use of the 'Paste' command, so that you don't lose your sh*t.
6. Thank you for leading me to design the effective risk mitigation scenario I've used for the last few years; namely, setting Auto-Save to 'Every 60 seconds'.
7. And, finally, thank you sincerely for the colour and vividness you add to white pages that are peppered with black text, when you appear willy-nilly.
I love ya. You bastard.