One of the most powerful characteristics of a persuader is subtlety. You should be able to influence without directly appearing to be doing that, because people usually don't like to be told what to do, say or believe. If you've been trying to get people on your side without success, try these next tips and you might finally succeed:
It's human nature to promote one's own idea instead of another person's. Suppose you have a retail shop and you built an online purchasing system because you want to raise the numbers of your online customer, or you're looking to make your site more mobile-friendly to attract on-the-go customers with their devices, but you're not sure how your colleague or boss would take your suggestion.
Instead of proffering the idea, you could work it into the conversation subtly. Like reference a research finding in line with your idea. "I heard that the number of people that access e-commerce sites using mobile devices is at its all-time high. It's rather unfortunate our site isn't mobile friendly."
Most likely, the other person suggests that you should look into making your site mobile friendly. Don't be over-eager, but show your agreement: "Yeah, it's certainly worth a try." "Good! Let's do it!"
The only downside with this is that the credit will go to someone else, but if your goal is met, this shouldn't be a problem.
Long before you need THE favour, ask for small favours from them. This will make them feel more inclined to help you at a later date. Research has shown that people/leaders who ask for favors from others rated higher in the subject evaluations than those who did not. A theory is that if you're willing to make an extra effort for somebody else, you must like that person.
You know the saying 'Aim for the moon and you just might land among the stars'? You can also reach your goal by asking for way more than you actually want. This is especially true if you're dealing with people whose first answer is likely to be no. The second time around, ask them for exactly what you want, which will be easier than your initial request. Most likely, feeling bad for having turned you down once, they'll probably agree this time.
Don't write something off because you don't think you have what it takes to achieve your goal. Ask yourself, what's the worst thing that can happen? When influencing others, the worst thing is that they'll say no, and you'll be right where you are now. It's better to try and fail, because nothing ventured, nothing gained.
People can always tell what sincere appreciation is, and what just empty flattering words are. Flattery is enjoyable, sure, but its effect is temporary. Sincere appreciation on the other hand can permanently place someone in a mindset to be of assistance in the future, no matter how long it takes. Identify some qualities you admire in people and let them know it.
People are more agreeable when you use questions rather than commands to relay something you need from them. Sure, depending on your position, you might still get it done even if you issue an order, but questions make people feel considered rather than bossed over. Think about what you need done, and rephrase it as a question.
Don't be miserly with your good words if you want to get someone in your camp. Humans suck up praise like their favourite meal. It makes people feel nice about themselves, which will give them a positive attitude towards you. Again, not flattery; offer genuine, heartfelt words of praise.
Whether it's a team you support or a show you both love, shared interests can make others feel understood and connected to you, which you can then use to influence them towards your goal. View their profiles on social media to see what they're interested in and then naturally bring it up in conversation.
Give the person a high reputation before they do what you need of them and they will work their hardest to achieve it. For instance, if you want to get some logo made for a new product in the office, tell people about how you know the logo is going to be awesome, because John (your graphic designer) is doing it and John is just awesome with design. John will give you a kick-ass logo, or die trying for sure.
If you want people to be interested in you and your ideas, be interested in them and theirs. Not just about work either, it's anything at all that is important to them - family, hobbies, life etc. Maybe you heard their child was unwell yesterday; find out how they are today. You win even more points if you remember the seemingly mundane stuff.
The sweetest sound in any person's ear is the sound of their name. Use people's names when you're addressing them in conversation and they will feel validated and warm up to you.
Even if you don't believe you have the power to influence someone, don't let them know that. Be self-assured and confident outside even if you're quivering like a palm frond on the inside. Think of yourself as capable to influence others, and it will come to you in time.
If you want people to listen to you, listen to them as well. People always want to feel heard, so listen to what they're saying, watch out for body language and understand them. Then phrase your message in a way that shows you understood them: "I know tomorrow you have that Scrabble Tournament on 5th Street, but could you drop by for an hour in the morning so we can wind up this brief and send it to the client before noon?"
Having high expectations of people works the same way as talking them up. If you show faith in people they will likely perform better than if you have doubt in their abilities. With your vote of confidence, they will handle the task more confidently and achieve a better result.
