I couldn't decide if Spock had visited too (he is probably too rational to loll about in vitality pools with bubbles just for the relaxation of it, but I guarantee you that your favourite sci-fi hero will feel right at home here, given the stainless steel cladding of the shoot, which (when Kirk isn't having Scotty beam him up under it) is depositing crushed ice in a heap to use, Scandinavian-style, as a body rub, after the sauna.
There's even an alien-looking infra-red light that dances across it, probing the temperature. In the adjacent plunge pools, large spouts like the sleek neck of a robotic swan, spew water with such force it massages deep tissue into the sort of submission that Spock's shoulder pinch achieves.
In the iridescent, cave-like steam room, a cross-section of quartz glow with a gaping, hungry alien mouth with jaggedly teeth of crystal shards, sending out rays of life-affirming energy into the sweet smelling vapours.
Science fiction gives way to James Bond-inspired adventures as you leave the spa to your Island suite past the free-form swimming pool that rises out of the Marina's waterways like a magical moat. If you expect the fantastical you won't be disappointed.
This is our second stay at The One&Only Cape Town. The first was in the Tower block and despite the grandness of the suite, it felt lifeless and empty. By contrast, our suite on the Island was much more to the human scale and consequently felt like somewhere we could relax and enjoy ourselves.
Herringbone-laid parquet flooring oozes warmth and the bronze tones in the furniture whisper island living, a particular pleasure in a hotel where the obvious always seems to triumph over the subtle. The bath, sandwiched between the loo and the shower stall, requires some dexterity, but beyond that I found little fault with the room - I think I could have spent the rest of my life in it.
There have been major staff changes at One&Only Cape Town and a massive change of heart when it comes to dealing with the local media and locals in general. It is impossible to pin-point the exact reason for the change but it is unquestionably palpable. I think much has to do with old-style hotelier Diana Romburgh in the guest relations position and The Manleys who are now handling media relations - in all respects it's now a pleasure to deal with the hotel.
Afternoon tea is a ritual all fine hotels should encourage and the One&Only Cape Town is another step closer to drawing in locals to its drawing room with the superb offering from pastry chef Rene Simatos in partnership with its Lindt chocolate fondue. What I tasted was beautiful. It isn't a shade on what the Mount Nelson afternoon tea offers in terms of variety but it is perfectly delicious and lovely. Her macaroons in pastel and pretty shades not unlike those from Laduree crack and melt into sweet nothingness and I loved her baked cheese cake with a secret in the centre. The savoury selection, however, needs to grow beyond sandwiches and mini quiches. Afternoon tea at One&Only Cape Town is priced at R145 per person and is served from 2.30pm-5.30pm daily while the winter Lindt chocolate fondue is R145 for two people sharing.
This hotel seems to be trying hard to live up to the hype that was created around its opening. There is a lot exceptional about the experience but in some ways, like four welcome letters in the room on arrival from the heads of departments, the effort may be misguided. What makes this hotel shine for me is having each two robes, of different weight, in the wardrobe and having solid timber hangers without those silly clasps that suggest I may steal them.
A gripe I have, which isn't shared by the myriad comments on TripAdvisor, is that the hotel is hugged by Waterfront apartment blocks. I can't feel as comfortable lying at the pool with apartment dwellers looking in - for that I may as well stay at home.
For more information go to www.oneandonlycapetown.com or call +27 (0) 21-431 4511.
