By: Henrie Geyser

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Yeah, OK, so there are also Jags, Mercs, Audi's and the rest to choose from, but when it comes to class, elegance, style, sophistication and unadulterated driving pleasure, not many do it as well as the 650 coupe.

For openers it is breathtakingly beautiful and probably the pinnacle of controversial BMW designer Chris Bangle's creations. With its sloping roof tapering gently to the rear, long mean bonnet, neatly sculptured lines and huge rubber-wrapped alloys, it has a presence that few other cars in this category have.

And it's done in such style. There is nothing outrageous or boy-racer about the 650, which is why it appeals to the senior executive who has enough lolly for a Roller, Lambo, Porsche or a Prancing Horse, but prefers the understated elegance of the 650 Beemer.

The beauty of this beast is that it is a docile, easy to drive car, quite content to move elegantly through rush hour traffic. But boy, does its personality change in a flash when you head for the open road and set it free. That's when it turns into an animal as the 4.8-litre V8 roars into life with 270kW and 490Nm of mighty muscle.

Flick the stubby gear lever through the tight six-speed manual cog-box and the 650 will squirt from 0-100km/h in a mere 5.1 seconds and from there very quickly until 250km/h pops up on the dial and the electronic baby-sitter steps in and says “That's enough”.

And what rip-roaring fun it is to hear the coupe's gaping exhausts thundering out its power. The sound system is fabulous, but no music can compete with the unbridled hedonism of a throaty V8 in full war cry.

Yes, I know it's a smart and sophisticated machine for the moneyed class, but it does bring out the hooligan in me. And I suspect that every one of the 75,000 or so smart-suited, grey-haired gentlemen around the globe who owns one of these Beemers finds it difficult to resist the temptation - particularly those who live close to the Autobahn and far away from over zealous speed limit enforcers and scary overnight police holding cells.

With its renowned rear-wheel drive, sharp steering and limpet-like road-clinging, this coupe thrives on long open roads and twisty hills and passes - a Gran Turismo in the true sense of the word.

To go into detail about all the 650's technology would fill a book, so be warned; to be comfortable in the saddle of this car you will have to spend several hours with your nose buried in its instruction manuals.

To the uninitiated, even turning the radio on or the navigation system off in this car can be a puzzling, frustrating experience. But once you've got the hang of it you will wonder how you ever lived without it.

So be prepared. You will spend lots of time learning the ropes before the dealer will finally hand over the car to you. By then you should have a pretty good idea of how to gain the full benefit of the Active Cruise Control, Lane Departure Warning, Head-Up Display (yep, you see your speed and even your route right up there in front of your nose on the windscreen!), BMW Night Vision, Navigation System with voice-over Instruction and the fancy audio system.

Finding out in detail about the oily bits is not essential. You can get away by quoting zero to 100km/h and top speeds, kW's and Nm's, but there is still a mountain of other information to absorb.

After all, you don't want to sound like a dummy when the chaps at the golf club ask you to explain how the Dynamic Stability Control (DSC) works, or to tell them more about Active Steering, CBC Cornering Brake Control, Tyre Defect Indicator, Runflat Tyres, Start-Off Assistant, Active Steering, the digital nine-channel amplifier with DSP Digital Signal Processing, USB interface, and the iDrive Controller.

Pop up the bonnet and show them the coupe's spacious boot by all means, but don't let them try out the rear seats, because the space at the back is minimal for heads and legs. Dwarfs, garden gnomes, young children and small dogs will be OK back there for a while, but then you probably don't want to schlep any of those things with you when you head for the hills in this machine.

Although it's described as a 2x2-seater it is really at its very best as a two-seater or, better still, as the ultimate car to be driven hard and enjoyed on a solo journey out in the country very early on a Sunday morning.

Our test car was the 650 coupe manual which comes with a price tag of R850,000.

Other 650 models on offer are the Coupé Sport Automatic, the 650i Convertible and the 650i Convertible Sport Automatic. Anyone of them would look in the drive-way of my humble little cottage....

[19 May 2008 17:30]

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