Americanus Deluxisaurus

The old and the new. Pictured above is the latest Cadillac STS with a beautifully maintained 1956 Cadillac, made world-famous by Gert Lubbe, the charismatic owner of the Montagu Country Hotel, who uses the car to promote Route 62 which stretches all the way from Worcester to Oudtshoorn.click to enlarge

For this is a big beast, all of five metres in length, nearly as wide as two Chevrolet “Sparkies” and it stands 1.465-metres tall in its alloy-wrapped 18 inch rubber boots.

The STS is the flagship of the Cadillac range. Actually, more of an aircraft carrier than a flagship.

Because if you thought the Cadillac BLS and the CTS were imposing, you ain't seen nothing yet. The STS has enough lights to give Eskom black-out fever - try eight in front, three on each side and another seven at the rear.

Press the central locking button and they light up more spectacularly than Bredasdorp's famous Christmas tree.

And then you have chrome… acres of it, up front, down the sides, along the windows, around the air intakes and in the badges and model names, enough to bring tears to the eyes of any scrap-yard owner.

But all its prehistoric, in-your-face size bling is quickly forgiven and forgotten when you slip into its lounge, oops, cabin.

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Talk about space and comfort. Huge armchair seats in plush leather, elegant Sapele Pommele wood trim, a driver seat and steering wheel that automatically move up and backwards for easy entry and exit, concert quality Bose surround sound through 15 speakers, press-button windows and mirrors, dual zone climate control, tinted heat absorbing windows, elegant carpeting with matching floor mats.... the list just goes on and on, right down to audio controls and voice recognition on the steering wheel.

On the outside you have auto-dimming side mirrors, fog lamps front and back, rain sense wipers, rear park assist and Xenon headlamps that adjust automatically and even have a washer system.

Other nice to haves include an alarm and immobiliser, keyless access, three position seat belts (including a child restraint position), front, side and curtain airbags, plus active head restraints.

To this already impressively long list of fancy specifications you can also add stability control, ABS brakes with brake assist, traction control, cruise control and suspension with Magnetic Ride Control and a wine cellar-sized boot.

And then, ladies and gentlemen, we have The Engine - all 4.6-litres of growling V8 with 239kW and 425Nm of muscle power.

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Americans don't make the greatest road-holding cars, but they certainly know what to do with a V8 engine and the fine-tuned chunk of metal under the bonnet of the STS has enough kick to propel this large projectile from zero to 100km/h in just 6.2 seconds.

What I found seriously impressive is the way the STS behaves under the whip. It loves fast sweeping bends and even when the road gets really tight and twisty it behaves like a thoroughbred.

Surprisingly its length and weight are not liabilities at all and once you've got the hang of the Caddie you can hammer it quite hard without any awful Yank Tank lean and squeal.

The only real disappointment of the car is its rather noisy, thumping suspension which is intrusive, even on average tar surfaces.

This is in sharp contrast to the elegant, quiet and silky smooth ride you get from this beast when you are cruising along Route 62 at 120km/h with the rev counter idling along at 2,000rpm.

The car is very well insulated against wind, road and engine noises and even when you stomp the fun pedal down on the carpet the V8's music never rises above a deep growl. All the more the pity then that the overall effect is cheapened by its thudding suspension.

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Because of its length and width the STS is not the easiest of cars to manoeuvre in tight city confines, but what a lovely cruising car it is.

During the Happy Season we meandered between towns, wine estates and fine restaurants along Route 62 with four big adults aboard and all our luggage and many cases of wine, fruit and farm stall delectables stowed in the boot.

The only pain was the car's drinking habits. It slugged about 14 litres every 100 kilometers and the fuel gauge seemed to move in tandem with the rev counter.

But what the heck, we were having fun and we were half in love with the Big Cadillac, even if it is a bit of a relic in these days of pint-sized Korean and Japanese runabouts.

Fortunately we didn't get a puncture, because that would have meant a major boot unpacking and the unpleasantness of piddling about on a space-saver spare wheel.

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Understandably Cadillac is not a huge seller in this country, with the STS selling even less than the other models, but this doesn't distract from the car's VIP refinement, bold presence and lovely ride.

Although not quite in the same league as the German uberwagens, with a price tag of R519,630 (which includes a three-year/100,000km warranty and a five-year/100,000km maintenance plan) the STS is an interesting alternative to the main stream snobbers such as Jaguar, Volvo, Lexus, Audi, Mercedes-Benz and BMW.

To some it's big, bold, brash and blatantly bling. To others it's a beautiful beast. Either way, you can love it or hate it - but ignore it you can't.