The Seven made in Heaven

Even when standing still, it looks likes it's going for the ton.

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Not that you can blame anybody, even rich company chairmen who are more accustomed to reading the financial pages or checking out the world markets on their laptops from the comfort of the rear of the cabin, for wanting to drive this impressive Bavarian flagship.

Because, at a rather hefty R1,6-million, this German big easy encapsulates everything a luxury car should have - class, style refinement, cosseted comfort, power and a presence like Madiba.

'I have a massage for you, sir'

The 760Li is a stretched version of the regular Seven Series although one wouldn't say so at a glance. But open a back door and slide into one of the baby-soft leather individual armchairs and you will immediately notice the extra space built into this long wheelbase version.

While you are in the backseat, where most senior executives will probably travel most of the time, make yourself comfortable, adjust the back rest and stretch your legs because the seats are fully adjustable, just like the two up front.

Back a little stiff? Click on the seat-warmer or, better still, select a soothing back massage.

Click the "controller" on the central armrest and you can watch your favourite DVD on the neat TV screen built into the seat in front of you.

Roadholding is as good as it gets and provides a ride that's suitable for even the most refined executive - with a hankering to emulate Schumi.

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And if the envious eyes of lesser beings staring in at your luxurious living quarters disturb you equilibrium you can always block them out by raising the black privacy window blinds.

To make the ride even more comfortable you can also adjust the cabin temperature, make a phone call, listen to your favourite classical music on a brilliant sound system as you float along in cream leather elegance matched only by the company Lear Jet or the Azimut motorised yacht moored at Monaco.

Six extra cylinders make a great deal of difference

But where the big Beemer really excels is when you get out of the backseat and slide in behind the steering wheel.

For this is not just a luxury German cruise ship idling up the Rhine for relaxing Riesling sipping at sun-set, but a full-blown, cleverly disguised muscle car that will rip up the Autobahn given half a chance.

For years BMW have won international awards for its legendary straight six engines and since they've been force-feeding this superb engine with twin turbo-chargers it has become even more awesome.

A phalanx of cameras ensure no dings to your precious metal.

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So, jawohl, said the white coats to the marketing suits at BMW's head office - if you want lots more power for this big BMW we can give it you quite easily...

So they took two of the renowned turbo-charged six-cylinder engines, hacked and sawed at them and then glued them together at a 60 degree angle to create the massive 6 litre V12 engine that occupies all the space under the hood of the 760Li.

And to make this huge chunk of metal operate at maximum efficiency they made space for 48 valves, two big turbos and direct fuel injection

With all this Popeye Spinach on board, Herr auto-engineers created a sophisticated chunk of V12 metal that thunders out 400kW and a mind boggling 750Nm.

This car rocks - but not where it shouldn't

Petrol heads will understand and appreciate that this is enough muscle to move this luxury limo from zero to 100km/h in a mere 4,6 seconds - a performance that will even make a few serious sports car owners weep with envy.

The most amazing thing is that in spite of all its massive power the 760Li cruises along at little more than a whisper and even when you stamp the pleasure pedal down on the richly carpeted foot well all you hear is a distant, well padded rumble.

And there is no neck-jerking in the take-off process either, thanks to an ultra-smooth eight-gear automatic shift and a clever system of self-adjusting suspension which prevents the rocking horse motion of a powerful automatic accelerating at a maximum rate of knots.

Features galore.

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And not only does this beast sprint at an astonishing pace it also handles mountain passes like it's glued to the tar. What makes it superior roadholding even more impressive is that this is, in the first instance, a chariot built for cotton wool-wrapped executive travel and that it weighs in at 2.2 tons and stretches to 5.2 metres, yet it handles as well as a sporty 5-Series.

So, perhaps wisely, the electronic nurse-maid kicks in when the speedo registers 250 km/h because at that speed this big lovable beast feels as though it is just getting into its stride. Cool for the Autobahn, but not advisable in the land of overloaded taxis and pot-holes.

You're on camera

One of the finest solo trips I ever made was a Jozi to Cape Town run a couple of years back in a newly unwrapped Seven Series and I can just imagine what fun a long-distance cruise would be like in this stepped up version.

This supremely elegant luxury saloon brims with so many classy features that it will take a while to get to know them all, but let's just look at some of them:

Twelve cylinders push out 400kW and a mind boggling 750Nm.

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To start with there is a buzzer that gives the driver a wake-up call when the car strays from one lane to another and a host of cameras to show the front, sides and back of the car to prevent expensive little dings and scratches when parking.

A long list of plusses

The heads-up display glowing in orange tint on the front window in front of the driver shows the speed and there is even a "night vision" system which detects pedestrians at night.

And in case the driver is a tad slow to respond to the lights of an ongoing vehicle the clever 760Li will automatically dim its headlights.

But the list is long and we can be here all day. Suffice to say that this super Seven is a truly exceptionally luxurious car, from its refined wood and leather living quarters right to its attractive square-mouthed exhaust outlets at the back.

Competitors in this serious-money class are the likes of Audi A8, Mercedes-Benz S-Class, Porsche Panamera, Lexus LS460, Jaguar XK or one of the 'price on application' Bentleys.

However, when it comes to these überwagens the price-tag is not really the main persuading factor - more depends on whether The Chairman prefers to be chauffeured or to indulge in a bid of serious driving hedonism himself.

Specifications and torque diagrams