The Unhappy Slapper, who works as a creative for one of the top agencies in sunny SA, will be in Margate again, and prefers to remain anonymous in the interests of protecting her secret identity so that she can write (and party) with wild abandon, go commando, shag anyone she likes and get a good story for, all incognito, with only her own name to throw away. She would also prefer that you think of her as a natural blonde Pamela Anderson lookalike with a fabulous personality and a sense of style. In short, the skank who knows too much. She's been around the block, six ways from Sunday. Discontent and cheap perfume leak from her pores like last night's rum. She's been in advertising longer than Graham Warsop's dog and has a penchant for christenings.
The Unhappy Slapper heads for Margate

It's T minus 6 days to Loeries and I cannot find a thing to wear. In fact at this rate I'll either be wearing my boyfriend or two well-placed stars and last year's Beeld mock Loerie on a piercing through my cllit (the closest I've ever come to a Loerie, I hear you ask).

By The Unhappy Slapper 23 Jul 2007

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