I get it that if someone finds their partner flirting with other women or even worse having an affair via Facebook it can influence your thoughts on the social media platform. Also I can see that if friend and family networks aren't an important part of one's life then the use for Facebook can become redundant.
However, most people don't have these experiences and embrace the fantastic networking potential to benefit their lives.
It deters people from cheating on their partners as Facebook will reveal all. People are too scared to get caught so therefore don't cheat. Kids don't smoke as parents will see the picks when uploaded to Facebook. Basically it polices adolescents to an extent (not entirely obviously).
And the best part of facebook, absolute best. It records my life chronologically year by year so one day when I am 70 years old I will be able to see my life in its entirety and never lose my memory of who was important in my life during each stage. That in itself is the greatest gift you could give to an old man losing his memory.
Thank you, I believe you have captured the current situation accurately. There is good and bad in social media ... but the bad is begining to outweigh the good ... we need to re-adjust and get back to balance...for the sake of our young ones (I have a teenager and his whole generation is showing signs of attention deficit and other worrying things like a diconnect with reality - too complex to mention here) Once agin, thanks and congrats on your piece.
Hi Bruce - but the piece talks to how people people are acting in society as a result of social media.
I admit social media has it's place, and like the dot-com bubble bursting and the Internet evolving into something different, it too will evolve into something different.
There are always going to be exceptions to any experience - and I'm really glad that you have had such positive experiences. Most people don't lead lives like that though and aren't there to reconnect and forge real relationships.
What I can extrapolate from your piece is that family and blood relations are important to you - I sit on the flipside completely: just because someone is blood doesn't mean I need to have a connection with them. Just because someone was once a friend, it doesn't mean that they still are years later. People come and people go and you evolve and change along the way - it's rare that you find that people still have the same fixed values so many years later.
I for example am deeply spiritual and into woo-woo stuff; a lot of my past friends are happy-clappy Christians and we just have completely different views on the world and life that don't really allow for the free flow of information. I say, you're sick? Have a session done... and then land up being accused of being a Satanist. I had someone spring an exorcism on me once.
You use social media for a positive purpose and I applaud you on that, I really do. It shows your development and maturity. The vast majority of people though don't, they haven't evolved or developed or changed - most people are stuck in fact.
I love the social aspect for uses like the mastermind I belong to, interesting pieces of news and views and opinions. I love engaging in social debates with people about social issues and hearing the differing points of view. I love the instant access to people who have emigrated and my woo-woo spiritual friends who are based all over the world. I think those kinds of uses are all wonderful things.
The issue for me here is really how it trickles down into society and the mass impact it's having on people who aren't mature enough to have grown their voices.
You're obviously an intelligent man who has earned your voice and the right to speak, so you know the responsibility that goes along with that. Many however don't - and the thing that really got me thinking was the Elliot Rodger case: would he have gone off the rails if he didn't have the support of the PUAHate forum?
Have you gone on reading about that - have you seen the thousands of other girls that have been raped and killed by guys who belonged that forum and others similar? 15-year-old girls strangled and then driven over repeatedly until they were dead, because they wouldn't have sex with a stranger who stopped on the side of the road and told them to do it?
Obesity is another one; the other night I heard a stat that over 25% of people in the UK are classified clinically obese - the NHS now pays for gastric bypass surgery because it's such an issue. Yet we still find endless posts about how fat is sexy and beautiful - even though some of the greatest health issues faced among people are weight-related nowadays. There's loads of skinny-shaming though.
Employees who come into work with such a deep sense of entitlement that once they have the longed-for position, they abuse it endlessly, treating doing actual work as if it is an interference in their social lives. A recent post mentioned how at just past midnight, people were waiting by the ATM to draw their whole salaries before the debit order "thieves" could steal it from their accounts. That blows my mind - people are losing their sense of responsibility.
The endless motivational posts tell everyone that they are perfect the way they are, they don't need to change and that is filtering through to everyday life: poor service everywhere, lack of commitment in jobs and relationships, lack of focus and hard work. Attitude nowadays means everyone likes you, not that you're at peace with yourself.
Societal pressures exist so that those who have not yet evolved to think for themselves have a framework in which to operate, an understanding of where the boundaries are and what's acceptable. We're losing those pressures at the rate of knots.
A woman finds another woman's clothes in her husband's cupboard - she doesn't talk to him, her first response is to post it on Facebook. Facebook affairs are listed as a major cause of break ups and divorces nowadays. People make posts about their personal lives and then let the group mentality decide what their actions should be.
I personally have had a major relationship end because my ex-partner couldn't stop talking to and engaging with women through Facebook. The last time I caught him, there were over 150 emails with different women; well 150 is where I stopped reading, my self-esteem couldn't take the bashing anymore.
Anything when used well has positive impacts. The thing is that the majority of people are abusing these platforms senselessly and taking the messaging they see on without the balance of the reverse messaging. People are getting more and more stuck, because if they are already perfect and wonderful and special, then what is there for them to work towards and aspire to?
I'm all for people who have built a powerful voice through what they have done and achieved standing up and speaking out, but those people are becoming fewer and rarer every day - and it's a domino effect.
Similarly, if we go with the motivational thinking attitude of your head creates your world, then we are creating a world of animal abusers and people with cancer because you are flooded with it nowadays.
The old social rule used to be: avoid discussion on sex, religion and politics - now everyone is pushing those opinions ad nauseum on the social web - I've deleted the pushy Christians now, because Facebook has become Bible-bashing central and it's not something I choose to be exposed to. I live in a democratic country where I can make my choices about what I believe and where my soul is going.
I applaud you for utilising social media in a positive and inspiring way - would love to see you writing about it and spreading the knowledge and model for how it can be powerfully and positively used to make a good impact, because the world needs role models like that. I look forward to your upcoming article in fact :)
I could not agree more. One way to make readers love your site is by (I firmly believe) publishing by Editions. This allows you to recommend something you serendipitously encountered while 'browsing' through your favourite site to your friends and know they will see what you saw in the same context. And if the same ads are presented to your friend as you originally saw, won't the advertiser be happy?
That post was not a personal attack, it was based on the content of this article.
The article mentions about how people make Facebook posts expressing their opinions in the hopes of getting likes. How is that different from posting an article on Bizcommunity hoping that people would respond positively. Isn't that essentially the same thing apart from the fact that Facebook are people you may know as opposed to a more public forum such as this.
I am not intending to attack anyone personally, I just think that social media isn't the demon people say it is. I have not seen anyone or even heard of anyone who has negatively been impacted by social media and therefore do not see the harm.
I have, however, seen people benefit enormously by gaining self worth, reclusive people have their voices heard when they are too shy in the physical world, people have made livings and businesses and real world success through social media.
To weigh up the pro's and con's it would be a landslide.
I was able to re-connect with 2nd cousins who I have never met from Australia over facebook and they flew over to visit. Thanks to Facebook.
Social networking will never go away so long as people feel the need to communicate efficiently and quickly with people. Deleting your FB account is the adult equivalent of running away from home I feel.
That's my opinion and I would put that opinion on my facebook page because an opinion is an opinion and an audience is an audience.
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I'm actually in agreement with you there - you only have to try and cancel some accounts to find out how desperately some of the big companies want to hang onto you and your data.
Currently in the process of trying to get hold of Google to sort out a client problem. Give that a go - it's actually damn near impossible to find a way to contact them. And you should see the palava to cancel a Google+ page.
I'm not scared of data and databases, but that has been an eye opening experience that has really made me think twice.
Yes you do see that a lot I agree.... my partner lives in Aruba and we're in a long distance relationship (hopefully not for much longer!!!), so I've even been guilty of that, so I have empathy for mitigating circumstances, but I do try and limit that to when it doesn't impact other peoples' time.
Did you watch the Guardian piece I linked to? In the lust section, the lady interviewed couldn't make it through the interview without stopping to tweet and reply to tweets. Likewise she's given up on relationships and live-in boyfriends, because her relationships interfere in her twitter time.
It's like the youngsters who all get together at a party and then sit around Facebooking and Tweeting the whole time - those are the extremes that get to me.
At a dinner party last week a guest left the table and disappeared Whats Apping for half an hour. We finished our meal and dessert and eventually her boyfriend had to retrieve her out of the bathroom. Unforgiveable discourtesy to her hosts........!!!! She was unabashed!