Couldn't agree more...
Hello.
"Hello-how-are-you?"
Er, fine. Who's this?
"Am I speaking to Mr x?"
(tentatively) Yes?
"More x you are speaking to Y from Absa Bank. Before we continue I need your ID no, birth certificate, proof your Grandpa was not a Klingon, cheek swab, urine sample and a soil test from the..."
Sorry, could you tell me what this is about?
"Mr x as one of our (snigger) preferred customers you have been selected by ABSA to receive..."
Geez, I'm a bit busy at the moment working to pay off your bank charges. The last time you flogged me something it was a complete screw-up. Could you perhaps mail me the details of what cockamamie scheme you're hawking this week?
"Er, no, Mr x, we only do the telesales stuff..."
So you have access to all my details but aren't empowered to mail or email me material that would enable me to make an informed decision about this, yes?
"That's right."
Nothing personal, but... bye-eeee!

*WAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA* That was brilliant!! And so typical of ANY unsolicited "we-wanna-sell-you..." conversation you have with any bank.

At least you managed to get them to tell what they were trying to sell you before having to hand over that sperm sample. One of my last run-ins with Standard Bank had the guy refusing to tell me what he wanted (or more correctly, what he was trying to sell) before I gave him my id number.
(Begins much the same as Will's above, until...)
"What is this about?"
(SB) "Sorry, I need your id number first."
"But I'm not going to give you my id number until you tell me what this is about."
(SB) "But Ma'am, I need your id number first."
"But..."
(more of this ensues)
Eventually: "Look, if you're phoning to tell me to come pick up my cards - I know. If I need to renew something, I'll do it at the bank when I fetch my cards. IF you're trying to sell me something, I don't want it."
(SB) "No, Ma'am, it's none of those things. But I need you id number before I can tell you."
"But I'm not going to give you my id number until you tell me what this is about."
(SB) "Alright, how about I tell you the first 6 digits and then you give me the rest."
By now I'm postively livid, and as "accommodating" as this person was trying to be, I'm not going to play. "No. Whatever it is, I'll deal with it once I'm in the bank. Thanks. Byyyye."

Sure, I may have taken on the demeanour of a 5 year old near the end there, but what are they thinking?? In this day and age of identity theft and the like, why on earth do we have to fill in the seven colours of verification BEFORE the caller even gets to the point?? Sure, if I'd wanted whatever he was selling I'd be happy to dish out the details - but only AFTER I'd agreed to anything.

O, and don't get me started on cellphone telesales. How can they not understand the words: "24 month BINDING contract. NO, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER ONE..." After that, they try to hit you up for your friends numbers: "NO, &%^$#$%^@#@%..." (beeeeeep)
And just when you think you've got through to them, another rep phones 2 days later...

Absa are not the only one's.
I have been harassed by 3-4 banks over the last 3 years, what with the new credit act 'Sir you qualify for a loan or credit card'
How the hell did they get my details, am I on a bank list?
I don't want a new credit card or a loan - f**K Off!!!!
Now I have had calls re: insurance - death and disability.
I am fully covered thank you.......
But I guess I can 'bank' on another call sometime.

Bang, on the head!