Let's talk about... tea parties

There is something about being on a plane that inspires me to write my blogs. I'm en-route to Brazil - I'm part of a delegation organised by South African Tourism, on invitation by Brazil Tourism, to share learnings gained from the 2010 FIFA World Cup with our Brazilian counterparts.

Never been to Brazil - so I'm really excited about experiencing it and networking for work for the 2014 World Cup. However, I've written enough about soccer-related stuff recently.

I want to talk about Tea Parties.

I was invited to speak to a group of young women at a "tea party" two weeks ago. This was not just any group of young ladies - they were all successful professional, directors, and senior managers of their blue chip companies. I was invited to share my life story - how bizarre, I'm only 32-years-old and my life is seriously nothing to write home about. None the less, it turned out to be a highly engaging session and everyone seemed to take something valuable form it including me.

Here is what I learnt:

There is a serious lack of dialogue among young people in South Africa.

Young, loosely meaning people below the age of 40. It became apparent to me that predominantly, the only young people engaging dialogues, being quoted and referenced, getting media attention are celebrities and politicians - so let's see, they're Julias Malema, DJ Fresh, Khanyi Mabwo - do you sense my panic?

The discussion we had at this tea party ranged from integrity to glass ceilings and to self-confidence. Every single topic discussed is fundamental to the building blocks of our society. It was authentic, tangible and productive.

Young people must talk more, unpack these issues and implement solutions. I know it sounds airy-fairy but consider the discussion about the independence and empowerment of women as a tool against the spread of HIV Aids. Strong, a self-assured and educated woman in a society that treats them as equals is probably our best chance against the spread of HIV.

Go and ask any guy out there who has the best chance of ensuring condom use in the heat of the moment. To this day, it's a taboo for women to carry condoms. What do you think the situation is like in rural areas?

So there is a lot to be gained from productive dialogue among us.

Women need to recognise their inherent strength and value.

Most black families are run by females. Many men are absent or delinquent. I don't have the census stats but according to ProBronson's Factbook on Family, more than 25% of South African children are more likely to be raised in a family without a father. I make this point: although black society is matriarchal, this does not translate into economic, social and political power. Why?

The ladies at the tea party pointed out that there is generally a lack of self-confidence in women. It's obviously not that simple but I think that it has a lot to do with it. Years and years of oppression can't just be overcome overnight. So, what're needed here are nterventions at home, in churches, at companies and in Government, to reaffirm women in our society.

I'm not saying that this is not happening but I am saying that it should be a national priority. To be fair, South Africa has the third highest ranking when it comes to the proportion of female MPs in the world in terms of representation. But more can be done.

There is a serious lack of eligible men out there.

I kid you not. I am amazed at how many women between the ages of 27 and 35, especially professional women always ask me if I know any decent men. The tea party pointed to the fact that most of them are single and have almost given up on men. Reminds me of the old saying, "Men are like toilets: they are either occupied or full of shit." Hehe.

On a serious note: we have a problem. These eligible women couldn't find counterparts they are happy with. So what's the deal - are there really no suitable men out there? Are their standards too high? To be honest, I couldn't think of a single friend of mine I would recommend.

I think there is a business opportunity here.

To wrap up, we need to have meaningful dialogues; we need a concerted effort to empower women; and, gents, we need to pull our socks up if we are to be the men that these powerful ladies would be happy to have by their side.

Watch this space - I'm going to do something about these issues. Maybe you should, too.